sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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