remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the day after is always just damage control
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
