Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
