i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
