There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
