Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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