You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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