just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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