were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
