did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize