Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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