let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
