you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
