So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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