I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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