Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
