I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
