garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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