Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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