I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
