Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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