okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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