She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
