too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
