What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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