I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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