Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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