we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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