My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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