I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
