is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
