I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
