Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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