FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
