Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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