If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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