i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
