I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I party with great urgency now.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
