I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
