you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
