I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
