Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
