last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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