would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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