ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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