You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
