I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
