That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
