More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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