Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
