i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
